Never been a big sports fan, I’ve yet picked up enough knowledge about football, baseball and soccer to get by without totally embarrassing myself in company. But while the past few years I’ve begun to be a follower of soccer, especially of our “local” club, the Portland Timbers, I’ve, not seen much in the way of other professional sports.
Let’s talk baseball here. With the World Series on television, and our old home favs - the San Francisco Giants - playing, Himself and I tuned in to watch. Here’s what I saw:
The basic game remains the same since last I watched. Some guys stand around and some sit around and a couple of guys play toss, hit, and catch with the baseball.
There is a lot of spitting involved. I’m not sure what part this plays in the actual game play but it seems to be very important because everybody does it. They do it in the field, at the bases, when batting, and when sitting in the dugout - otherwise called the spittoon. Great gods of phlegm fly out of mouths and all of this action is highlighted in glorious color and extreme closeup. Beware! Don’t watch baseball during dinner of while consuming snacks UNLESS you have a very steady stomach! I’m thinking there needs to be a place where folks can bet on the number of televised spits per game.
The other major component of professional baseball seems to be the beard. Naked faces are few and facial hair has become nearly de rigueur. Some beards are neatly trimmed and rather attractive. Some are scraggly, shaggy, and unkempt. Some look like misplaced merkins. There are full face coverings, dainty goatees, and various combinations. Watching the players is rather like being an arborist at a topiary convention.
So baseball has become throat mucus and fur. The combination is awesome. Sort of.